FOUNDER MODE

😴 Do less. 💅 Look busy.
📈 Watch the valuation climb anyway.

📱 Welcome to Table For Two.

Your father built a video game empire. You wanted to open restaurants. But dating apps were the thing everyone was funding, so here you are — chasing "unicorn" status, a concept that neither you nor your investors quite understand.

🐛 Ignore the technical problems. They fix themselves.
🥂 Show up for the investors, the golf, the demo day.
😇 And whatever happens, look like the one making it happen.

Because in this business...

THE LESS YOU DO, THE BETTER IT GOES.

Especially when it shouldn't. 😈

🎭 10 DIFFERENT ENDINGS

Some of them only look like winning.

3 ways it all collapses — scandal, bankruptcy, walkout.
2 ways you get out clean — sell well, sell modest.
1 way you're still standing. Technically.
3 ways you "win" for reasons that have nothing to do with skill.
1 way to find out your win was never real to begin with.

📖 BASED ON A TRUE STORY

We actually worked at a startup exactly like this one — years before "founder mode" was even a phrase people used to describe it.

Everything ran better whenever the CEO kept his hands off it.
The team was good.
Unfortunately, the CTO left.
And nobody ever quite figured out why the magic had stopped working. 😈